I want to discuss an issue that 's plagued many men foreplay. Technically, foreplay encompasses all the preintercourse play we engage in: kissing, caressing, touching, even oral sex. To be a great lover, a man must master, and preferably enjoy, foreplay.

Traditionally, we think of foreplay as something a man has to do (or endure) to get his partner ready for sex. A lot of men think of foreplay as a chore something that has to get done before they can get it on. Like ironing your shirt in the morning.

On the other hand, women perceive foreplay as an integral part of the process of sex. While women can occasionally have sex without foreplay (also known as a quickie), me and nearly all my female friends feel that foreplay is absolutely vital to a truly enjoyable, fulfilling sexual experience. Part of this is psychological and part of it is physical.

So why is foreplay important? And what do you need to know to master foreplay? Read on!

Men, women and the arousal cycle

When it comes to sexual arousal, men are digital and women are analog. Now let me explain what I mean by this sweeping generalization.

Men are either turned on or not. When sexually excited, men get an erection. The erection lasts until the man reaches orgasm or the sexual stimulus is removed. When this happens, the man loses interest in sex for a time. He also loses the ability to have sex for a variable time period.

Women do not have either/or sex drives. Women have varying degrees of sexual excitement. They are multiorgasmic (or at least capable of having multiple orgasms). Women must be stimulated to reach a peak of excitement that coincides with orgasm. Afterward, a woman can be stimulated to further orgasms.

Physiologically, during arousal, a woman 's vagina begins producing natural lubricant. The shape of the vagina changes, lengthening to allow penetration. A woman 's clitoris fills with blood and becomes more sensitive.

Foreplay is the method by which the woman 's level of sexual excitement is increased, causing these physiological changes, allowing the woman to have sex and to enjoy it.

Foreplay mistakes

Most women have similar complaints:
Men don 't kiss long enough
Men fixate on our breasts
...and then they rush straight to our crotch

Good foreplay avoids these pitfalls. Give long, lingering kisses. Don 't focus specifically on kissing the mouth. I personally love kissing, licking and nibbling on my neck and shoulders.

Don 't be breastobsessed. Yes, my breasts and nipples are extremely sensitive, but I want you to pay attention to my entire body. Give breasts their fair share of attention and then move on.

No rushing! Foreplay should be relaxed and luxurious. We want to be touched all over. Sometimes, I want to be the one who tells you to touch my clit and vagina. Other times, I want my partner to take initiative and touch me there but not until I 'm ready. Some men don 't realize that touching before a woman is fully aroused can be uncomfortable or even painful. This is another reason not to hurry foreplay along.

There are some products you can use to hasten the arousal process. My favorite is an larginine cream that increases blood flow to intimate places.

Now, on to some tips and techniques to help you master foreplay.

Foreplay tips

The easiest thing you can do to earn your Ph.D. in foreplay is to enjoy it. This may sound difficult, but believe me, I can tell whether my partner 's into it! To me, one of the biggest turnons is knowing the person I 'm with is enjoying themselves as much as I am. Remember sex begins in the brain. Attitude is important.

If you don 't know what your partner likes, simply ask. Sometimes you should phrase the question as, Do you prefer this or that? Kisses or bites? Caresses or grabbing? Stroking her hair or pulling? It 's important to be communicative in bed (and I 'm not just talking about her screaming your name ; ) so be prepared to tell your partner what you like, too.

Sexy talk is completely underrated by many people. But you 'd be amazed how many people get excited by simple talk. A good way to test this is to tell your partner exactly what you 're going to do to her in great detail. That gets just about everyone revved up. If sexy talk isn 't your partner 's speed, you can still talk: tell her how beautiful she is, how happy you are to be fooling around with her, etc.

Go slow until she asks you to go fast. Most men try to rush foreplay. To me, that 's like starting on your main course while your dinner partner is still working on the appetizer. Be polite and not hasty.

One of the reasons I like the VCream larginine cream is that a good, extended foreplay session gives it plenty of time to work. When it kicks in, I can really feel the difference and that 's usually when foreplay becomes sex!

Remember: the ideal lover is someone who loves foreplay as much as his partner does. Use these foreplay tips to add a little more steam to your sex play!

Lovers-Guide.info: - Why Foreplay Is A Must For Ladies

About the Author

Gabrielle Moore is co-author of the e-course The G Spot Code. A course to help couples find the G Spot. For more information, go to: http://www.femaleorgasmrevealed.com or http://www.thegspotcode.com